03,40 am

I woke up, some nightmare woke me. Made a chamomile tea. A lot of things are happening, but when a pain is so sharp I couldn’t write about it. Lately, by week’s I couldn’t find a positivity, I am in a some kind of purgatory. So routine is my way to handle with it, praying, resting a lot, positive movies film noir, cooking, cleaning, bath myself and dog, walking, picturing and all over again. Spring will brings warm weather to do more walks outside because I can’t be at café bars anymore, those stupid conversations are impossible to listen. I do not trust the news, if everything is bed why they travelled more then ever, used a more drugs then before, more pleasures, more food, rarely is anyone cooking here, where is a money from for all that? My parents, my grandparents travelled 1 per year, at summer time, me too. My family is cooking, not ordering a food. We called each others, no money to visiting so often. How come here people travelling every weekend? Every day people drinking a lot of alcohol, men’s and women’s equally, eating outside, gambling by nights, rarely is someone in a love, it is just a lust covered with a lies. Where are a decent people? Rarely anyone wants to be a decent because that doesn’t brings a benefits. Are we all good people if we will get any kind of benefit? If it is so, we are not a reflection of a God, opposite 😉